Saturday, January 22, 2011
Ok guys,I'd like to make this very clear.
I'm not barney,nor do I have any utmost desire to live the extremely shallow and empty life he does.
I'm not shallow,nor do I view girls as objects.Sometimes you guys might feel offended when I might view girls as objects,or when I'm like saying I talk to this girl or another.I'm NOT trying to show off.I just relapse into talking about it because,as we all know,I'm not like you guys.I'm not muscular,or poetic,or able to dance till girls beg you to take them,or write entertaining,amazing blogposts.I can't connect with people from every single clique,or social class or whatever. I'm just ME.
I'm not an expert or anything,i just do what everybody does.When I occasionally view girls as objects,its probably because I was really hurt by one,and I can't really bring myself to believe in love,or affection,or whatever.
I know you guys might not feel that I tell you everything,but that's because..I don't want you to lose you guys.I'm afraid opening up the darkest pits of my soul and baring it for all to see is just too much.I'd rather have every second I spend with you guys a fun,joyous happy occasion,then have times where we argue,or fight,or you get scared or repulsed by things I might think off.In all honesty,I'm not a good person.I've dreamed of doing things that border on psychotic,things that are really well..evil.
Look,dude,you were like the first friend,the first person to ever care about me.I'm immensely grateful for that.In my life,you live on a pedestal so high,only my parents are higher than you sometimes.To think that the playacting has come to the point where it irritates you,proves that its time to stop.I guess I may not have talked about all that.I may not be a marshall,or a ted.But I NEVER WANT TO BE BARNEY.And only I know how alone he must feel.
posted at [6:04 AM]
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